Another broken heart
Well, he did today.
His ex girlfriend- the mother of his child- overdosed two nights ago. Intentionally. Because of me. No she didn't die. I almost feel sorry about that, I'm so sick with anger.
She has been threatening to kill me, to slit my throat.
My boyfriend had been staying every night with her, while I have been away, trying to keep her alive, trying to protect his little daughter from her crazed rants and rage. Jealousy is a fucked up thing- and when mixed with true insanity, lethal.
Because of this... because of her, we have to break up, he says, his voice's flatness cut with sobs. He thinks he's saving me, and his daughter. He's trying to be honourable. He's sacrificing me.
How can someone say they WANT to be with you but they CAN'T? How can they say they wish they could spend their life with you, but they CAN'T? Just say you don't love me any more, say that and I can understand.
Now I don't know what I feel. Lost maybe.
Wanting arms around me, so sad any arms would do. Someone to tell me everything will be okay. Someone to love me.
I'm afraid I'm addicted to love.
Did I ever feel anything real for him, or was it all made up?
In love with love.
Homeless now, we were supposed to move in together when I got back. My life is upside down.
Drugs don't make me happy any more.
But still, that's all that I can think of to do, to wipe the pain away.
I just hope they're enough.