Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Welcome home

Damp like you wish your wife's panties were. Damp like the cave between a fatty's rolls. Damp like the towel on the end of your bed. Damp. Damp. Damp.

The jackets in my closet, leather heels, cowboy boots, the cushions on the couch, the curtains, mould like black lace is creeping between them, all over them. Invading my house from the inside. Black splotches are stretching over the ceiling. Like storm clouds heavy with rain.

Or the black billow that streams from the smokestack at the hospital. That's where they burn the diseased body parts, the amputated limbs, cancerous growths, cysts with teeth and tufts of hair in them, the unwanted fetuses and the beloved ones gone bad. It's like the hospital's flag, flying high over the city, so even in the park where life should be picturesque, you can see it.

I chase the mould with an armful of cleaning products and a bucket of hot water that quickly turns textured and blackened. I can smell it.

We've moved out of our bedroom and into the lounge. The mould is still there, but the air isn't thick with it. Our bedroom is unusable.

It's a beautiful old bungalow. But what can you do? Legally, the landlords don't have to do a damn thing.

The walls are thin. Our next door neighbour is in his 30s, tall and spindly, a crop of orange hair, he lives alone, slams his door, stomps around the house. I hear him yelling into the phone at night. He's perpetually angry. His anger seeps through the walls.

One time he screamed through the wall "shut up you fucking cunt" because I went to the bathroom. I think he might be mad. His mother pays his rent, cooks for him and cleans his house. She doesn't live with him, but she spends several hours there each day. She is angry too. She stands on the front porch and glares at me.

Two months ago, I awoke to a blood-chilling scream. It was coming from the flat through the wall. My boyfriend leapt out of bed, grabbed a baseball bat and ran underpant-clad next door.

The angry neighbour had woken up to a man dressed in black and wearing a balaclava, standing in his bedroom beside his bed, watching him as he slept. Like an ominous shadow. When he woke, the man turned and walked out of his room. Thinking maybe he was dreaming, he followed him, down the hall, towards the back door, through the kitchen. The man stopped, and turned. When he screamed, the man took a step towards him.

That was when my boyfriend came crashing around the corner and the man took off. They chased him down the street. But the man had a bicycle hidden in the long grass at the corner. He jumped on it, and was gone.

The street was quiet. Despite the yells, no one else had come to help. The police didn't even turn up.

After that, the next door neighbour stopped shouting abuse through the wall. But he still lies about us to the landlords. He still listens with his ear to the wall.

The 6 month lease is almost up. I can't wait to move.

I'm looking for sunshine.

17 Comments:

Blogger Absolut Ruiness said...

Welcome back TUI. Nice to read you after such a long time. I too am facing rented house issues and on the verge of moving to anew place. I can see what you are going through. There are these white ants which have grown through the spaces between bricks and give evidence of their existence by making these pretty pattens on the walls with their excrement mixed with brick dust.

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Things never change. All the years you've wasted being a worhtless junkie addicted to drugs and men.

6:13 PM  
Blogger tui said...

Thanks for stopping by Absolut Ruiness!

Anonymous... you're right, things never change. All the years you've wasted reading & commenting on a blog of a worthless junky. Good for you. :)

9:07 PM  
OpenID b3f55bfc-dff0-11e0-9ae7-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Here in Texas those too poor to have air conditioning use devices known as water fans, basicly a box lined with excelsior and a pump that cycles water through the fiberous lining where a fan blows a fine mist of water throughout the area where un hellish temps are desired.
I have prolly just used all this excess verbage to discribe what Kiwis commonly call a "water fan" but its not like I have a lot to do with my time and its kept me out of trouble for a full 5 minutes.
My point in bringing up the whole water fan thing was just that your discussion of dampness and insanity made me think of the days when we cooled ourselves, children and dogs with one of the awful mold producing contraptions.
I remember actualy taking saltine crackers fresh from the box and making origami with them.

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading about your trainwreck life has taken, at the most, a couple of hours over the years for me while you have been running on a hamster wheel going nowhere all of that time.

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, of course, am a prominent neurosurgeon with 3 lovely children and a devoted wife, we're active in our church, vote republican, and enjoy missionary sex once every 9 days.

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and I'd gladly pay you $20 if you sent your moist panties to me.

1:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Tui, good to see you're alive. I was bit worried about you. At the same time I had hoped that you may have abandoned everything to do with this blog and have gotten pregnant, had kids and white picket fences. Strange how contingencies work. Anyways. take care of yourself, good to see you're with us!

2:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I am on 55mg methadone and get high every other day. It gives me enough of *something* to keep me coming back."

Pathetic as usual.

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tui Bukowski.
Any Relation? eh? you Deutsche always looking th3 same :)
get it? it's funny because youre an attractive woman and bukowski was an ugly repulisve craggy crinkly looking man. Hell of a writer though. I can see an obviuos influence :) Neat study. Cool shit.

don't let the weirdos on the interwebs slow you down.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charles Bukowski, JT Leroy, Sylvia Plath, Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonnegut


yeah whoopsie fucking daisies.

The only thing that doesnt belong on that list is Firstly- Chuck Palahniuk
(vomits. actually because he plagiariased Charles Bukowski)

and Sylvia Plath YUCK!!!

But we'll overlook this for the Nina Simone :)

1:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've a solution!! Marry me and we'll move to Sydney, get sober and have gorgeous babies who grow to be tall and smart and beautiful, just like their mother..
<3 u
-cs

Oh, and to the troll who continually tries to cunt up this (awesome) blog - why do you care what someone else puts in their body? You sound jealous (of something) - I've seen her work; and addict or not (like it makes a difference), I'd bet good money she has more talent embedded in her toe jam than you'd be able to accumulate in your lifetime (talent that is, my guess is you collect and eat your toe jam on special occasions).

Opiates are great painkillers, physical and emotional; who the fuck are you to berate someone for the desire to be free of the pain we all suffer to a degree? Let me answer that for you: A self-absorbed, righteous, narrow-minded dickbag without a trace of empathy who smells an awful lot like a sociopath - sound familiar? I knew it did..

So fuck off you worthless, spineless, dickless troll who hides behind his monitor - what do you gain from this anyway? Is your self worth THAT easily propped up? Pathetic. Where's your blog? What do you create? What do you contribute that's positive (I'm not talking about the inbreds resulting from fucking your sister) - hit me back, I'm genuinely curious (and unlike you, not hiding over my views).
p e n g o 6 6 (at) g m a i l . c o m

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey T.. It's Michael from Toronto! Remember? Montreal... Anyway.. We should chat.. I hope your well .. Have some interesting stuff to tell you.. It's been so long .. entropy00 at hotmail dot com .. Hope to hear from you.. Thinking of you!

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tui where did you go? Where ever you are in the world right now someone is thinking of you, sending abundant blessings in what ever way you need.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tui, it's chirs/Michael from Toronto. Hope you are ok. It's been a long time since I ve seen you post, and longer since we spoke. Hope youre healthy, please email me at: entropy00@hotmail.com . I will try your email
. Xoxo

5:57 PM  
Blogger Absolut Ruiness said...

Hey Tui, Where are you? I can understand if you dont want to write anymore. Just wish we all could get to know about your whereabouts and what you've been up to this whole while. Miss your posts dearly.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missing you. Come back to us.

10:10 PM  

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