Saturday, April 19, 2008


I just blew my nose on a leaf. I'm sitting in the garden, trying to keep warm. Houses in New Zealand are NOT built for winter. We have this silly "tough" mentality, that winter here is nothing, and so who the hell needs central heating. This is the land of drafty houses and one-bar electric heaters. Right now it's actually warmer outside, sitting in the sunshine, than inside, where it's still shady.

In a potted plant beside me, sits a grubby little Smurf. I used to collect them as a kid. This is Doctor Smurf, with a stethoscope in one hand, and a giant syringe in the other. It's unreal, but the sight of a SMURF syringe is enough to give my heart a whoosh of cravings. I know the way this all works now, the brain trickery, flooding me with lovely images and golden moments that all say use. Use. USE.

To escape from a drug-lust daydream, according to my therapist, I have to distract myself. Give the rational brain some time to catch up. It's a bit slow, my rational brain.

Right on cue, as if entering from stage left, my kitten trots blindly past, with a tissue-box (bigger than his whole body) stuck on his little head.

They say recovery's a daily battle, and it's true. But I'm glad to say, today, In Smurf vs. Kitten, Kitten won.


Blogger EMOB said...

Asrael sure got a lot cuter when I wasn't looking! In this case, I will cheer for the kitty.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

I love these pictures, especially the kitty with the gun. Hang in there with the dreams -- I hear those are the worst!

3:53 PM  
Blogger ToyMachine said...

Hi Tui, You would fit right in here in Southern California, I was reading a book by Christopher Moore called The Stupidest Angel and he called it "winter denial." Meaning I am bitterly cold here in my house during the winter, then I go outside and it's like totally warm and sunny... So I can def relate on that one.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The devil comes in strange forms and guardian angels sometimes have boxes over their heads.

The road of recovery often has strange twists and odd milestones.

10:18 AM  
Blogger tui said...


5:29 PM  

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