T is for time-killer, V is for very

Hi, my name is Tui. And I watch too much TV.

There, I said it. More skin-crawling, hide your face, deny deny deny, than herpes. Well almost. It's up there. Something no one wants to admit. Hey life, show my dumb brain anything and I'll get addicted to it. It's easy. Here I am, fuck me over. I love it. Must love it.

Cartoons, reality shite, talk shows, docos (look how highbrow I am!), static.

The line up tonight: King of the Hill, Family Guide, The Mentalist, Dexter. And I'm excited. Bleh.

It's my boyfriend's fault. Blame him.

Since he moved in the telly is always on, constant background noise, while I read, crossword, write, do the internets, eat, even sleep. It's on.

I have a lot of catching up to do. Being one of those two-headed freaks who grew up without a telly. All those kiddy conversations and pop-culture references left me quiet, and outside. Maybe it was like that for you too, as a kid, having to be a little clone, or be dead weird. My parents always made sure I was the weird one. The vegetarian, with sprouts in her lunchbox. No lollies allowed. No fizzy drink, yep I was 9 before I tried coca cola. The only kid not allowed to go to the boy-girl parties. I had to wrangle, weasle, whinge and manipulate hard to go to school dances. My dad was suspicious, and bored, and controlling. Pop music was banned because of the lyrics. My purity was his project. And somehow, i systematically became as unpure as possible. And weirder than ever. Yee ha.

And now, please excuse me, the ads are over.