Wednesday, July 12, 2006


On Monay I didn't have any h for the first time in months and months and months. I thought I would be sick with just my done, but I was just a bit antsy. I took a valium and watched TV, curled with the cat. It was okay! I know the only reason I could do it was because my boyfriend wasn't there. I'm going home early from work tonight to clean my house. My boyfriend has now moved everything out!! I hadn't even realized because there are so many piles of trash here and there. So nice of him to leave them for me. Just doing one day without using makes me know I can do it. It's amazing. i'm going to ban my boyfriend from seeing me for a week and stop using full stop. It feels good to make decisions. Even though, I have this sneaking feeling- that if I was rich enough to maintain my habit, well, I would never stop.

A boy I've been spending quite a bit of time with recently dropped by last night. Usually I hate drop-byers, maybe I need my house to be spic'n span or something, I'm not sure why it annoys me so much.
He asked me how much money I make, me lying on my ink-stained sheet, ripped dress on, complaining I was hungry because I hadn't eaten that day (no food, no money). He was trying to borrow $2.50 and I didn't even have that. When I told him- 65K, it's not THAT much, and the taxes are rotten, his jaw dropped, and suddenly I could see myself through his eyes.
"Babe, you should be paying off a mortgage, not paying rent,"
"I know." And in my head I listed all my bills for pay day. Much more than my pay cheque, and more in line for the next.


Blogger Lx said...

in the States, in a medium-sized city, 65K is nothing. good luck Tui; we're pulling for you.

6:27 AM  
Blogger tui said...

Rrrr, yes pay in Montréal is pathetic, it's at least 20% lower than in Toronto, plus the taxes are phenomenal- they take 47% or something off my cheque!! It's fucking crazy. But the people here just seem to be used to it, and most go live out in the far suburbs and pay $200 a month rent .

10:56 AM  
Blogger Mary Blackchurch said...

True the 15% good & services tax..and depending on the tax bracket one is in is a kller in Quebc. Montreal is still softer on the wallet than many other Canadian cities...but we're catching up.

I'd love to find a place for 200.00 a month..burbs or deep country..point the way!

2:10 PM  

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