Monday, July 10, 2006

The Plan

I have to get rid of my worries. I need to stop the nightmares, the cold sweats and the shaky days.

1.
Drugs. Pass my next urine test. Which (I think), means not doing h for a week before- am I right about this?
Then I'll start getting take-outs of my methadone. And I can begin to reduce myself, with me in charge.
Do it. No excuses. Because this is really important. More important than anything.
This will mean spending long periods apart from my boyf. He has his own place, he needs to start staying there. I can't do this with him around.
Sounds so easy doesn't it.

2.
Cash. Create the tightest budget of my life and stick to it. Erase my bills, its got to be possible. And do my fucking taxes.
I have this habit. It's bad. A letter comes, it looks like a bill. I get this feeling, my stomach turns, I think, 'later.' I just can't open it. It's the same with phone calls, and even emails sometimes. I dread the next bill, the next bad cheque or credit notification. It twists me up inside.

12 Comments:

Blogger Lx said...

and now you need a plan to execute #2. perhaps knocking off a casino? no wait...that's been done/tried; on and off the big screen.

6:33 AM  
Blogger tui said...

I heard a great story about a man who dressed up as a security guard and stood in front of the bank after hours money-chute (don't know if they still have these, but this was the 60s or something). He put a sign on the money-chute "Chute broken, please deposit money with security guard." Apparantly it worked well.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Ancient Clown said...

To begin with...
Breathe DEEP...Breathe SLOW
At first, this may seem like silly advice, but please consider it in more depth and greater length;
1. When people get upset...first thing they're told is; "Calm down..breathe."
2. First thing you learn when studying Martial Arts: "How to Breathe"
3. First thing you learn when studying Yoga:
"How to Breathe"
4. First thing you learn when studying Singing:
"How to Breathe"
5. etc.etc.etc...breathe DEEP...Breathe SLOW.

SECONDLY---GOD made pot for a reason...it is a medicine to help you eliminate the 'crappy drugs' made by man, designed to kill you, and clean you of polutants. (Governments don't want people to know this---they would rather give you a much more harmful product THEY make called Meth-which has some VERY nasty side-effects which worsen with prolonged use)...as opposed to POT, which does NOT...but this way THEY control your addictions and levels.
I don't think I know...I just know I'm thinking.
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown

11:03 AM  
Blogger Lx said...

God really made pot?

2:25 PM  
Anonymous bluegroupmember said...

Ancient clown speak with forked tongue...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, dump the bf completely and move to another city and take away the temptation. Get in touch with a programme and really use it...make yourself accountable.

Get into counselling to get rid of teh horrible stuff from childhood...it does work.

You are soooo worth it Tui...

Bluegroupmember

3:19 PM  
Blogger tui said...

?? I don't smoke pot

4:53 PM  
Blogger dave said...

tui,

i read your blog regularly and i don't comment often 'cause i never really know what to say.
do it!! make your plan happen.

and you are sooo cool for riding a bmx!

8:06 PM  
Blogger Mary Blackchurch said...

Not sure whose program you're on Tu..if it's with a private doctor you can skip the 2 months of mandatory clean urines..if it's the CLSC..then they used to have a smonths clean policy before allowing take homes. Maybe shorter now am not sure.

11:39 AM  
Blogger tui said...

Hey Mary-
I know my clinic won't let me skip it. How long does it take to test clean? I've tested clean before after 48 hours (when I just used occasionally), but it was just for a work drug screening test, pretty light and testing across the board. I don't know if they can tell if you're an addict vs. a casual user- do you?

3:08 PM  
Blogger Mary Blackchurch said...

Keeping in mind that drug testing is a billion dollar a year business in North America and given that its use is probably the single greatest threat to the little freedom we have left, it may come as a surprise that as a scientific enterprise, it is poorly run. Those who do the actual testing understand the uncertainties with the whole enterprise but those who use the results, do not. The worst offenders are judges, prosecutors, and probation officers, because they have no one to whom they answer.
Detection Limits

When a urine test comes back negative for THC (or any other substance) it does not mean that there was no THC in the urine. All it means is that the THC concentration was below some set limit determined by the test. This is called the "detection limit" of the test. Think of it this way: when you look at an eye chart, there are some letters which are large enough for you to identify and others that are just a blur. The blurry letters are below your visual detection limit. The letters are still there, just like the THC.

So if the detection limit of this particular test is 90 ng THC per ml of urine, a negative test means only that the THC level was less than 90 ng/ml. For example, 89 ng/ml would be called negative. Note that this is not 0 ng/ml even though a negative test is normally assumed so.
Urine Density

Everyone notices that sometimes their urine is a dark yellow whereas other times it is colorless. The darker the urine, the more impurities are present. As a result of this, a person's urine THC will vary throughout a day being higher when the urine is dark and lower when the urine is light.

So what happened with you and your PO? I can't say for sure without having the numbers from the tests. But I believe that you are telling the truth. When you took your third test your urine may have been fairly dilute and so the THC concentration fell below the detection limits of the test. When you went for your fourth test, your urine may have been much more concentrated and so the THC concentration was back above the detection limits even though the amount of THC in your body had declined between the two tests.

There are two things to be learned here. First, always drink a lot of water when you are subject to urine testing, even when you are not using any drugs; doing this will lessen the chances of a false positive. Second, people in the legal system—and even those working in the testing industry—are often very ignorant of the errors inherent in drug testing and their ignorance can and will be used against you in a court of law.

http://www.heroinhelper.com/user/misc/urine_tests.shtml

As far as I know heroin can be detected from 1 to 4 days in the urine..so that right there tells one they cannot be a regular/daily user. I do know that urine concentration is key...drink tons of water before you go so as to dilute your urine. They actually test for all opiates (OPI) as heroin itself breaks down quickly..so testing for morphine is a more reliable test..at least from 1 to 4 days after using it. The presence of morphine in urine may indicate use of heroin in the previous 1-4 days, but positive results can also be produced by medicines and by poppy-seed foodstuffs. A further problem with the morphine urine test is that morphine can also be produced by other opiates, including those in prescribed and over the counter pain-relief preparations.


Read further here:
http://www.morphine-urine-test.co.uk/

Read here on urine test:
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/opiates/opiates_testing.shtml

and here fro false positives and urine testing of opiates:
http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_info1.shtml#what

as well, if needed..here is a scientifcally proven defence from the wonderful Poppy Seed bagel:

http://www.poppies.org/news/99414745577278.shtml

Remember too that there are many false positive results in a lab..and they happen alot. You can always deny deny deny..and demand another test. Information is key so learn what medications and substances do and do not produce a positive for illegal drugs.

False Positives:
http://www.swedish.org/17150.cfm

Water:
Drink at least eight hefty glasses of fluid (preferably
water) just prior to the test. Many people start drinking water several days before the test; which is useless. Water does *not* clean any THC metabolites out of your system because THC is not water soluble. Water
only dilutes urine temporarily. Do not over do it; you can get water intoxication. People can actually overdose and even die from water intoxication. It's very hard to do, and you'll vomit before anything gets serious.

The above source from "Fooling the Bladder Cops,' by Justin Gombos.

The basic info from the book is available here:
http://www.drugs-forum.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=2930

One last suggestion..if you don't have to pee in front of someone or even if you do..there are ways round that too.

Let me know if interested.

Mary

2:05 PM  
Blogger tui said...

My ex boyfriend cheated a drug test using my urine once. He carried it in a hip flask next to his tummy to keep it warm. For me however, I 'm not worried about THC at all. I don't smoke pot. I just want to test clean for h so the clinic will let me take out my methadone. Even if I did test positive for THC they wouldn't care. They just care about heroin. That's my problem drug. Thanks for all the info, you certainly know a ton about all this. I'll make sure to stop using 4 days before my appointment-

2:57 PM  
Blogger Mary Blackchurch said...

THC is just used as an example,the same applies to all drugs as far as how the UA tests are done. It wasn't that I thought you smoked pot or hash *smile* although many do..I don't either...just not my cup of tea and it makes me a little antsy.

The part that differs in testing is the length of time they stay in the system.

I wanted to mention that valium can make one more edgy when co ming off of H..but not if you have methadone in you..just don't take alot of them okay. Some people have had overdose reactions when mixing the two...even small amounts..10-15 mils, so plese be careful.

It is true that if you dilute your urine by drinking 6 glasses of water before you go it may not leave enough H to detect properly...so that your pee is almost a clear color.

Was asking about if you had to go in front of someone because there are many ways to switch yourt pee and keep it warm/body temperature, etc. When I first went to try and get take outs over many many years ago..one had to have 2 solid months of weekly clean tests before they allowed take homes. If I hadn't cheated I'd still be going for them all these years later.

Have a good week-end Tu..enjoy your privacy and nose rubs for kitty.

3:25 PM  

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