Sunday, July 02, 2006


I was 9. Sitting on the couch, knees together. Looking around the room, wide-eyes. So this is what being rich is. Big everything. Couches, walls, windows. The flag out the front. Even the family was big. Big and fat. They owned a North American fast food chain. They were North American. They were loud. "Look how SHY she is. So PRETTY! She should play with Jimmy." My tummy clenched. "Go play with Jimmy love." I looked at my parents. They nodded at me from over their coffees. Go on. I was practically an only child, my new brother was just a few months old. I was used to sitting with the adults. And, I hadn't liked the way Jimmy had looked. I didn't want to play with him. I didn't want to be alone with him. "Go on Tui."

I opened the door to his room reluctantly. It was an attic room. It was messy and there were oversized toys everywhere. His stomach pressed against his plaid shirt. I picked up a toy fire engine, trying to seem comfortable. "Want to see my penis?" He asked. I ran halfway down the stairs to the adults. Shocked and crying a bit, at the injustice of having to play with him. I sat there for a long time. Until it seemed normal for me to come back from playing. Then over to my mother, leaning against her, fingers twirling in her hair. Trying to tell her, trying to whisper. "What's she saying?" Jimmy's mother demanded. "JIMMY... Tui wants to play with you!" I put my thumb in my mouth and shook my head.

I wanted to go home. There weren't any seats near my parents, I had to sit on the other side of the big room. Jimmy came to get me. "No thank-you," I said. "Tui!" The adults exclaimed. "Don't be rude." Dad said to me. He apologized to Jimmy"s rich parents.

In the car on the way home I wasn't talked to. I had embarrassed everyone.


Anonymous mary said...

Like I said have a gift for the written word..sharing..touching places many of us have visted too..getting to the point.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Tui,

I left an anonymous comment once before noting that I've read every single word on your blog (you also stated that it was a "beautiful comment", thank you---that made me smile immensely!). I am so glad that I found this blog. I've never really been into reading other's thoughts, but I wait in anticipation for your posts. Sitting at my government job in Ottawa I check back several times a day waiting to read your beautiful thoughts. I think it helps that you're also gourgeous! I hope you're doing well. If you ever want someone to run away to NZ with, let me know!

1:29 PM  
Blogger tui said...

Aw, you're lovely. Don't be anonymous! t

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Markus said...

Um...ok. I've just lost my anonymity (and it didn't hurt at all). I was just about to send you an e-mail but chickened out. And thank you for calling me lovely. That is sweet.

3:15 PM  
Blogger tui said...

Hellloo Markus, nice to meet you...

3:53 PM  
Blogger tui said...

& you can email me anytime.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous markus said...

I believe the pleasure is ALL mine!

I liked this last post; I could relate to it. I'd often fight with my mother and she'd soon forget it all to save me. I think being an only child raised by one parent helped us connect. She always knew when something was wrong.

And why do boys always want to show off their goods? Come to think of it, I never really took advantage of that when I was young, I really should have offered to display my parts to the opposite sex.

Oh, and the more you share, the more I want to hug... ;)

4:00 PM  

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