It's the worst day of the month. The day before payday. I have a new bank, maybe my pay will go in at midnight. Even if it does, all the dealers will be closed. Fuckers. I have to be so sneaky typing at work, I know if they want to they can watch my screen. Today has been insanely busy, and I'm so broke I have to eat the office food. Nectarines and oranges and lattés. That's what I live on. At home, I have condiments and limp carrots. Things have been better with my boyfriend, maybe some magic is still left. It's hard knowing when I always feel so numb. His touch feels very far away.