Friday, February 24, 2006


It's early morning again. I have nothing on my schedule except a meeting at 9.30am, which means I have to leave home right away. And then read the new york times for eight hours, trying not to think of drugs. It's the anticipation that kills me. Sometimes I just say I'm going to 'brainstorm' and catch a cab to my dealer's. It's risky in case anyone needs me, and it always takes at least an hour and a half. Last night, I got my laptop back from the pawn shop- just an hour before they would be the new owners. Now I have to figure out how to protect it from my boyfriend. He's the one who pawned it. I've considered locking it with those metal cord locks for laptops. But what to? He's strong and he has a lot of tools. If he's junksick there's not much I can do. And I kind of understand, I know that creeping feeling, the anxiety in the heart, time trickling past.


Blogger madeinpetare said...

thank you :)

8:31 AM  
Anonymous sickgirl said...

Sorry to be commenting like mad on your journal but with each entry that I read, I find we have more and more in common. I do almost all of my blogging while at work cause I have a pretty kickass - and very private - office so I take advantage of this. No one at work has any clue and I know that I would be the absolute last person in the world that they would suspect of using. Oh such a secret life we lead. They'd all near have heart failure I am sure especially as I now have a senior position within my company.


As I used to say to new dealers that were suspect of my squeeky clean librarian look:

No, I'm not a narc, just a nerd!

10:50 AM  
Blogger tui said...

Don't be sorry! I love your comments!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Lazy said...

There are junkies with a sense of honour as well, you know.

9:44 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home