Thursday, March 23, 2006

Being blunt

The needle I have at home is blunt, blunt, blunt. All the numbers up the side are rubbed off, and it has to be used with massive amounts of force for something so delicate. I should buy new ones, it's only $1 for four (and today is payday so I'm temporarily rich). But to buy new ones I have to go and ask the same man who gives me my methadone. Pierre. For some reason he really likes me, and cares a lot about my habit. He's very sweet, lanky with dark shaggy hair. He's seen me struggle through three reduction programs and now a maintenance in the past nine months. He thinks I'm doing well at the moment, and he's always so happy for me. If I ask him for a prevention pack his eyes will change, he'll pretend to be cool about it, but he'll be sad, or something. My own sadness is enough, I don't need anyone elses, so I'll just use the same needle till it breaks.


Anonymous mary said...

Yea I hear ya..I have to go to another pharmacie or needle exchange place too when I need fits..can't seem to ask where I pick up my juice. I guess the reason for that is twofold maybe three..saving face..not wanting to disappoint and fear the pharmacisits may let it slip to clinics/doctor's, etc.

Still I can't help but think he'd much rather you hit clean and safe then not. This becomes so important the more we use Tui..but you already know that.

Perhaps you could throw bf or still waiting to get on the program and needs them..something like that. Hey..even if he doesn't buy least there'll be an element of 'maybe so' to it.

I was reading your latest comment on Peri's blog:

And wanted to point you in the direction of this post concerning that chit they're trying to call dope that gels's got tot be the worst I've run into in a looong while..the dreese is much better now in Montreal..but I hear tell some morans are still trying to pass this crap off.

So check out this post and if you have the chance..let me know what ya think ..same thing as you got?? He speaks of it being the pills mixed in with small amounts of dreese.,..if that.

Which is what I thought was going on in December when I happened upon it..also noticed tiny slivers of wood something floating around the top. Awful stuff.

In case a newer post is's called:

"it’s spring still-30 degrees outside/inside is colder yet."

Stay well Tui

2:30 PM  
Blogger tui said...

Hi Mary, I read the post and it sounds like exactly the same shit, what a disappointment. Is he from Montréal too? Where are you from? Thanks for the comments- t

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Yoshi said...

Wow. In Australia we have these places which all they do is dispense fits and spoons and water, etc for free. You just walk in and ask for what you want, tell them what you last used and walk out.

They should have that in the US and Canada, etc. Its better to keep needles free and prevents diseases, etc.

Yoshi :)

7:04 PM  
Anonymous sickgirl said...

In London, we have the same thing - a needle exchange program, at two central locations actually - which is very handy. You can grab a box of 100 syringes, a box of alcoholic wipes, sterile water, condoms and a sharpies container to dispose of used syringes plus other stuff too, I think. One of the locations is actually a block from my house and the other one is about three blocks from work.


9:56 AM  
Blogger tui said...

You guys are lucky, there's only one free (but donation suggested) place in Montréal, but it's in an annoying area with wierd hours like 7pm to 1am etc. Every time I've gone they've been closed- they seem to think of it more as recreation for friday nights rather than breakfast, lunch and dinner.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous KEL said...

Please be safe love. Don't want to hurt yourself with that old fit. I am in the US, no needles free or otherwise in my state. They are by RX ONLY. This does not present abuse, only increases disease. Anyway. I like the blog. I shall link you.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous blackdog said...

yo tui, hey. lifes a bitch tisn't it? what were you and mary discussing? you had that gelatin dope that got hard with to much heat ?talk ta me.

steve da/dawgg

10:46 PM  
Blogger Lazy said...

Where d'you live, sickgirl? I used to live next to the one on Cambridge Heath Rd. But there are places like that in every borough, not just two. Walk out like a kid loaded down with new toys: ampoules of distilled water, syringes and colour-coded needles, swabs, little disposable spoon thingies with a specially designed filter...

TUI get some new needles dam' it. First the arm veins go, then the ones in the feet, then you'll be hitting your hands - waving your arm around in a circle to force the blood into the hands (spraying blood from any missed hits), then pull a tourniquet tight. Your hands will be bruised and swollen.

9:52 AM  

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