Loser
Yep that loser's me.
Rent day. (Sounds ominous already!) Withdraw two weeks rent, and some, and stuff into my already obese-with-receipts-and-other junk wallet. Squeeze it into my purse, a swingy leather thing with a flap that closes it- and what should have been a crucial piece of foreshadowing- no zipper.
Get a call twenty minutes later. A good samaritan has found my wallet, matched my business card to my ID and has it in her lovely hand, ready to return it. Phew, without even the panic of realizing I'd lost it.
That was quite different to how things turned out on Friday night.
I missed my bus after work, and had to catch one that took an unusual route, involving a good long walk over hill and dale. It was at the fruit and vege store, grabbing dinner supplies, that I dug around for my wallet, and realized. Voila... poof! it was gone.
Tracing my footsteps back yielded zip. Calling the bus company, and asking the driver, zip zip. One carries a lot their wallet, I discovered. Bank cards, library & dvd card, drivers license, and yep that's all my ID. And rarely for a Friday, there was money in my wallet too, 200 unfortunate dollars.
For some reason I lose things I love or need, and I do it a lot. I barely notice my surroundings, it's a blur out there. If I was a witness to a crime, I would be useless. I'm too far in my head, stretched out daydreaming, most likely sipping tea and smoking cigarettes. Sometimes I have to wiggle my toes, just to remind me that they're part of me.
At the A&D clinic I've sat for hours in groups, one-on-one and with pamphlets, all devoted to mindfulness. Still, it's bloody hard.
posted by tui at 11:15 PM
7 Comments:
Hi Tui,
I know how you feel! I carry all sorts of things around, no matter how hard I try to get organized. And lose all sorts of stuff too. One of my friends used to say that you could tell what wasn't working in your life by what you were losing (a long period of losing my identification -- no need for Dr. Freud on that one!) and then my purse (a symbol of sexuality -- won't even go there) and my keys and so on. Hang in there with the concentration stuff -- it gets better, I think, over time.
Hey Michelle,
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I never thought about it like that, but I think your friend has something. It definately happens in frustrating spates.
My boyfriend tries to help by cleaning my purse out weekly- I don't know what Freud would have thought of that!
Thanks for your lovely comment, as always.
:)
t
For me, it's usually the mobile phone. Where is it now? Only once my passport, in Denmark at a train station, found intact hours later. And a few times, keys.
In any case, here's to mindfulness and "being there."
Was the rent money intact?
My wife has that problem with gloves, now she only buys cheap ones. As a kid, I had that problem with mittens, my mother darned in a string. Now I lose my train of thought, which I chalk up to a senior moment.
I have hardly ever lost anything, but the price for that is a degree of obsessiveness, which henceforth I will call take care to call mindfulness.
I lose everything. All the time :(
You think you're bad..I can't even come up with a good acronym for what an A&D clinic is..let alone know what it is.
Even Google spat back a nil on that one.
The freedom of scatterdness..it's got its reason for being.
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