Thursday, December 25, 2008

Xmas hooha

-Snowman by Shrigley

Dun dun dunnn... the annual Christmas family dinner. My parents and brother flew from their respective cities. The celebration is usually held at my granny's, but she's fragile and just too old now (her opinion), so this year it was to be held at my aunt's. My religious extremist aunt's. Lets just call her Bitch from Hell.

My boyfriend has no family to spend Christmas with. His father abandoned him at birth, and his mother beat him viciously from before he could walk, until he was old enough to run away. That was about 20 years ago. He has nothing to do with her now.

It's a shit time of year for people without families. I wanted to spend the day with him and my family.

My mum rang to let Bitch from Hell know that I wanted to bring my partner. She said no. She wanted to "keep the numbers down".

I was sure that once she realised the situation, and that he's kind of important to me, not some fuckbuddy, it wouldn't be a problem. But yeah, I was wrong.

I rang her myself, and it soon became clear that Bitches from Hell can be quite creative:

"I'm a single woman living alone, I don't want a strange man in my house."

"If he doesn't have family he's obviously used to spending Christmas alone, it's not as if another Christmas by himself will be a change."

"If you were married, then it would be a different story."

Aha. The truth.

So sadly, I missed out on seeing my granny, uncle, other aunt, cousin (her son) and his wife, and my teen second cousin. Not to mention parents and brother. None of them thinks like her about "living in sin". But no one was willing to rock the boat.

It was the first Christmas my boyfriend got presents. And he got lots. All from me. We did the santa stocking thing, ate a pile of pancakes, and had a huge shot.

It was lovely, but the fact that one relative had managed to exclude me from my family due to an out-dated judgement of my morality, that wasn't so lovely.

Sickeningly, she feels sanctimonious about the whole thing, because jesus is on her side. I wish I could make my aunt see how fucking unchristian-like her behaviour has been.

Any ideas?


Blogger ruhi said...

i hate ppl who think that going to a church every sunday makes u a this awesome thing sumwhere "going to a church no more makes a christian out of u than sleeping in ur garage makes u a car"...i hate the way ur aunt behaved n she deserves the name u gave her every bit. u did the right thing by sticking up for ur guy.

11:39 PM  
Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Tui,

This is a tough one. In my experience, Bitches From Hell don't change that easily and the worst of behavior justified by Jesus is so awful -- I'm sure Jesus is driven to drink straight gin by these cruelties. I'm glad you had a good time with your boyfriend -- here's hoping next year is easier. The holidays bring out the worst. Glad to see your back writing here again!

3:03 PM  
Blogger Dying4Something2Live4 said...

hey tui! hope all is well with you and ur bf! glad ur Christmas was good!


8:56 PM  
Blogger J said...

Funny how too many church goers miss the essential message.

It sounds like the two of you had a wonderful Christmas, giving and sharing is in the spirit of the season not exclusion and resentment.

As far as the aunt, perhaps start your own traditions that need not include her. See the rest of your family at a different time. When your grandmother passes, reorientate the holiday around your family.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

That sucks, but J's last para. seems like a pragmatic approach. The "Bitch from Hell" is probably beyond hope of person-to-person enlightenment at this point, don't you think?

Happy New year, hope you have a groovy '009!

3:30 AM  
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8:20 AM  

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