Tuesday, October 07, 2008


Sorry. I know I've been away for a while. I've fallen in love, gotten clean, fallen out of love, started using, and fallen in love again.

My beautiful sweet new boyfriend cooks rather well. Food as well as drugs.

I got home last night to a syringe full of cherry red liquid. Injected it quickly as mum drank sweet blackcurrant tea in the lounge. That sort of thing makes me sick. Sometimes I wake up with the rain on the windows and I just want normality so fucking badly.

Today. I'm in the office eating ice cream out of a cup at my desk. I'm on the 11th floor. The top. A storm is beating the glass beside me. My legs are starting to ache.

My boyfriend will be here soon. Sticky and sour smelling as he is at this time of the day. It will be hard to kiss him, it always is when I feel this raw. But in his pocket will be a little something for me. And once I've had that, I'll be able to kiss him all night.


Blogger rX said...

Oh tui, we missed you x

5:06 PM  
Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Tui,

Missed you a lot! Glad you're back with your beautiful writing. Be well, honey.

8:00 PM  
Blogger jodi said...

Been waiting for more. Tell your tale, girl.

10:20 PM  
Anonymous southernbelle said...

Come and visit soonest. We miss you.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see you back. Sorry to hear that you're using. Life some good often comes with some bad. A prayer that you get straight again.

2:58 PM  
Blogger jodi said...

p.s why is the kitty a taco?

5:29 PM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...


Glad to see you back writing in this venue! Salud!

1:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter how long you're gone nothing ever changes. You talk abotu wanting to be clean to keep up appearances that you are not just a hopeless junkie going from man to man to be with whoever will take you at the momment. It's getting old and very boring.

2:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey anon above me- why do you read the page then? Obviously you have some interest because you bother reading her posts and actually use your time and energy to leave bitter comments. I'm sure you are absolutely perfect and without vice. Go crawl back under your rock.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Dying4Something2Live4 said...

Hey Tui, I'm so glad you're back! By the time I finally came across your blog, you were already gone, so I never got to leave a message. So your back and that's great, so hopefully you'll get to check my blog out, and I'll get to read more of your's!

11:16 AM  
Blogger Gledwood said...

cherry red gear? how extraordinary!

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad your ok. Maybe some of us are just too broken for being normal, maybe normality is overrated(?).

I prefer to live with the IV rosy red glasses. The blooming flower of red in a syringe is quite comfortable chased with a pint of ben and jerrys ice cream. It is our own reality that matters anyway.

Good Luck with the love thang.


9:50 PM  

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