Just so

I am the worst nitpicker I know. I try to ignore things, but god it's hard. Now I just keep them to myself, stuff them down into the dark recesses, try to cover them over with bright fuzzy things. When I was single, it was horrible, the things that could disturb me about the opposite sex. Just a word could do it. I have many words that are taboo. Highest on the list: funky. It hurts even to write it. It's the word of the desperately-trying-to-be-hip early thirties yuppy (I work with a lot of these). Satin boxers, big no-no. Eyebrow piercings. Fucked up spelling or grammer. Wet lips. Waxed chest. Too much eye contact. Not enough. The list goes on. And shoes, I think all women agree, can make or break a first date.