Friday, July 28, 2006

Crackle

Work has been crazy, so I haven't had time to write. I've been arriving home at midnight, cuddling the cat and passing out. I've had this funny hollowness that I can't get rid of. Maybe it's because I know it's over with my boyfriend, and the hurt at losing someone (the only person) so close is big. I saw him for the first time this week late last night. He woke me up, coming in at 2am. I couldn't talk, I muttered nonsense and slipped back to my dreams. This morning I asked for my keys back. If he needs something, he should call me and meet me. It really hurt to say it. But I knew I had to. I know we have to break up, it's so strange how sad it makes me. He ran out slamming the two doors to the outside.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Michael said...

hey....

i really like reading your blog.. just thought i'd say that. you don't know me obviously.. i live in Toronto. i was touched with alot of what i've read here.. i've only discovered this today. i created an account so i can msg you, and also post some of my stories.. don't give up, and don't listen to assholes who pretend to know what they're talking about, but post under anonomys names so people can't see who the real person is behind the bullshit posts. anyway.. i have an addiction myself, so i know where you are.. i don't know what else to say now.. but i'll be reading.. i'll also be updating my blog as soon as i can. we're in similar situations.. i have a well paying job as well, so i too lead somewhat of a double life. feel free to msg me if you'd like to talk.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Mary Blackchurch said...

It'll get easier Tu..and before you know it hon someone worthy of you will come into your world. I know we've been kinda hard on your bf..and in all fairneess he too suffers fromt he disease of addiction. It's probably not who he is when he's off of dope. But there are a shitload of problems when both people are strung out.

I know you already 'get' that..I hear you wanting your life back is all..and with the added pressure of him it will be near to impossible. Just try to start digging yourself again..work your way back..baby steps..little baby steps. Who knows..he may do better without having yout o steal from anymore..rely on..may force him into trying to help himself too.

Fingers crossed.

(hugs)

6:11 PM  
Blogger tui said...

Thanks Mary and Michael... Michael, I'm glad you've decided to write. I'll come check your site out. Writing helps a lot. Thanks for reading. xx

4:59 PM  

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