Saturday, July 21, 2007


Spending time with the orange-haired boy. I guess I have a boyfriend. He is nice to me, too nice. Stroking my hair, worried he's said the wrong thing. Worried I don't love him enough. I unhook his arms and roll away, uncomfortable in my skin, anxious. What are you thinking? he asks. I'm thinking of filling my veins, so I just sigh. My mind is sticky with the thought.

I keep trying to remind myself of something I read in a brochure at the clinic. Cravings are like stray cats. The more you feed them, the more they'll come around.


Anonymous shaun said...


I hope you get these,(New Zealand soccer jokes) I kind of get them. I wanted to be able to let you know i am thinking of you. I thought this would be a safe way to say hi. -shaun-

Invercargill Supporters

Two guys from Invercargill die and wake up in hell.

The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in swannies, mittens and balaclavas warming themselves around the fire.

The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Invercargill, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just Happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in swannies, mittens and balaclavas

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Southlanders. He gets there and finds them back in their swannies, mittens and balaclavas. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"

The Southlanders look at the devil in surprise,

"Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean that Southland has won the N.P.C rugby

Canterbury Supporters
The family of Auckland Blues Rugby supporters head out shopping one Saturday before Christmas.

While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Crusaders rugby jersey and says to his sister, "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas!"

The sister is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."

Off goes the little lad, with Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mum","Yes, son ?", "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your father."

Off he goes with the Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad." "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I would like this jersey for Christmas."

The father is outraged at this, promptly whacks his son round the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says, "Son, I hope you've learned an important lesson today?" The son turns to his father and says, "Yes, Father, I have". Father says,"Good son, and what is it?"

The son replies "I've only been a Crusaders supporter for an hour and already I hate you Auckland bastards!!!"

Procrastination is like masturbation, it's fun while you're doing it, but after awhile you realize you're only fucking yourself." (Oscar Wilde?)

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage
- Lao Tzu

12:04 PM  
Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Tui,

Glad you're back! Beautiful writing as always. Please keep writing and ignore people who are cruel on the comment board -- I'm sending all good thoughts your way.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a rare brochure that actually speaks to you,- stray cats are a good analogy.

Your writing is beautiful, always a treat.

Yoga helps me feel more at home in my skin and just less antsy in general. You mentioned a while ago that you where considering taking a class, are you still thinking about it? Failing that just run, and run some more, and when your totally out of breath walk slowly home.

You're really brave tui, you inspire me
warm regards

11:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

still trying to pass this creative writing exercise off as your life...
as if you'd not be dead by now or cured...
what a lot of bs...
naturally, one of your favorite writers was a similiar hoakster....

5:42 PM  
Blogger Too Dark Park said...

hey anonymous.

for your info..
i've met tui in real life. i can vouche for her, and i can tell any one of her readers that might have any doubt as to her credibility.. that indeed what she writes about on here is by no means exaggerated, or any form of a lie. grow up.

9:29 PM  
Blogger IVY said...

LOVE YOUR LAST AND first line. i mean love the thing about how cravings are like stray cats.. and "the orange-haired boy." nice description. So good at descriptions in so few choice words. If you wrote a book i'd read it. Dont say that about many blogs at all ever.

3:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am half thinking about revealing some of the opiophiles in the pole. At least those that are 2 faced enough to respond that it is no one from here. You never know who you're dealing with. We're still waiting on an answer. I could win money for my next fix.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous shaun said...

One thing that is really bizarre to me. Why do people who are closely related, like first cousins who end up doing the naughty and having kids with obvious chromosomes missing... Why do they name the kids anonymous? Then send them to blogs.

I wonder what Mendel would say about the fact that out of all the millions of sperms involved in this shmuck's conception, his was the best.

Sorry Tui, I have no self control. I apologize for the bad vibes. But it is rather easy to imagine this anon as a worthless tadpole.

Ok i will stop.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

This may be total cheese, but from my experience, the coolest (or directly God-touched, if you will) people tend to draw the most evil attacks.

Tui, you're a very cool writer. The rest doesn't really matter to me. Although I do wish you the best.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous elliot said...

If this is what I have to look forward to when I kick the drugs. Well then I would rather not. Time or junk time or junk. I choose junk

10:59 AM  
Anonymous m said...

people make the world go around..even the idiots.

8:53 PM  

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