After midnight
It comes for me, when I'm not looking.
Shadows up the wall, mid dream the lighter flicks, bubbling that familiar smell, brown liquid sucks syringe-wards, pull tight the leather purse strap, fit too-warm between my lips I would smile- but everything's too helter skelt, a suspense snowball towards one moment, the vein found, confirmed, that satisfying bloody flower, the sigh half-formed oh so ready for
My eyes snap open, wide.
Heart a-gallop, chest wound tight. Want, skyscraper-tall. Every cell aching for one thing, as the quiet night breathes outside, sea on rocks, covers to my chin I wish they were over my head, wish they were twisted on the floor and I was gone.
Shadows up the wall, mid dream the lighter flicks, bubbling that familiar smell, brown liquid sucks syringe-wards, pull tight the leather purse strap, fit too-warm between my lips I would smile- but everything's too helter skelt, a suspense snowball towards one moment, the vein found, confirmed, that satisfying bloody flower, the sigh half-formed oh so ready for
My eyes snap open, wide.
Heart a-gallop, chest wound tight. Want, skyscraper-tall. Every cell aching for one thing, as the quiet night breathes outside, sea on rocks, covers to my chin I wish they were over my head, wish they were twisted on the floor and I was gone.
posted by tui at 5:45 AM
3 Comments:
Hi T,
drug dreams are hateful batches of neurotransmitters. From all the dream possibilities, why does our mind torture us with these dreams when we are weak and vulnerable? Rhetorical question that was. Why can't we dream of waking up and being happy and free. I hope that comes for you, i hope it already has. you have come an amazingly long way...remember when you got the new co-worker? Well it seems like a long time ago, and you have come so far.
Good luck. I am checking on you everyday now. Your writing is addicting in itself...
shaun
Evil works in various ways. It will infect our thoughts and dreams, and then take advantage of us when we are most weak.
Talking and writing can help. You're doing well you will make it.
"that satisfying bloody flower"
Reminds me of an expression I've been using for years-- "purple rose". Just to see that purple rose blossom is more thrilling than most people will ever know in their entire lives.
Great blog Tui... keep it up
Woowoo
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