Tuesday, April 03, 2007



The phone rings.


-Hello, is that you Tui?


-Oh hello Tui, it's Jenny, from the methadone clinic in Auckland. I'm so sorry I didn't get your email in time to organise takeaways for you. Did you still manage to get away for the weekend? I just felt awful about it. You see that's why you'll be so much better off with a doctor in your hometown, there won't be these silly hiccups if you need a take away dose or a transfer at the last minute.

-Well, don't worry about it. I mean, I only gave you one day’s notice. Thanks for everything. I mean it.

She talks fast, seems as anxious as I feel. Very sweet. Proper. Well spoken. A lady. I’ll miss her. But rules are rules, and I have to be prescribed the methadone from a local clinic. The only local clinic.



The phone rings.

-Tui. You rang?

-Mary, is that you? (Mary is from my new methadone clinic)


-Oh, hi! How are you?


-Uh... I have the opportunity to meet with a recruitment agent, for work, in Wellington on Tuesday next week.


-I was just wondering… If maybe, I mean, I know it's short notice, but I can get a lift with a friend this weekend. I'd just need takeaways for three days, or else a transfer, so I could pick up my methadone from a pharmacy in Wellington.

Mary starts laughing...

-Tui. It's MUCH too late. You have to ask me by TUESDAY each week. That's when we have our meeting to decide takeaways and transfers. TUESDAY.

-Okay, well… thanks anyway.



I call Mary ….and even manage to get hold of her, first call. This is an achievement.

-Mary speaking.

-Hi Mary. It’s Tui.


-Tui Cyr.


-I’ve been invited to a friend’s bach this weekend, in Awaroa. I was wondering if you could ask at tomorrow’s meeting if I can
get two days of methadone to take with me.


-There won’t be any pharmacies, it’s too remote. So I’d need to take it with me.

-Isn’t that Easter? (finally she talks!)

-Well, yes.

-She laughs. Tui, Easter’s been DECIDED. We’ve already DECIDED everything for Easter. The pharmacies have already been FAXED. There’s just no way. Easter’s COMPLICATED.

This time I don’t say thanks. I can’t. I can barely say okay. And press the off button on the phone hard, my thumb trembling. Stupid fucking cunt. Bitch slut. Fucking whore. Laughing in my face. I want to kick her in the head. And this is the person I’m supposed to “open up to”. My drug counsellor. What a fucking CUNT.


Blogger Lx said...

always has fucked things up

6:55 AM  
Blogger chapman said...

considering WHY you're calling, you'd think they'd want to accomodate a willing rehabilitee.

9:41 AM  
Blogger The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

jesus they are certainly not making it easy for you!

that bitch mary is in the wrong line of work!

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Methadone clinics are evil. The people who work at them take on the slimy attidute of drug dealers, but at least drug dealers are driven by profit. These guys only get an hourly wage. Combine that with the way office workers in general tend to play mind games, and you get one big ball of shit. I have always viewed friends who go to these clinics as victims - isn't that strange? I mean, they're trying NOT to be victims of addiction but look at this crap. Then society wonders why people relapse and can't "stay on the program." There is a reason! TUI, getting what you want from these monsters is hard, I know, but stick with it! Don't let them push you back. PS send me that "lady"'s address so I can send HER a special Easter "present" from the USA! It's been DECIDED!
-Stefanie (Ex-millennial)

4:50 PM  
Blogger monicker said...

WTF. That's fucking stupid, just stupid. Mary needs a new job that doesn't require her to interact with human beings.

8:46 PM  
Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

The system seems merciless and evil. Keep fighting the good fight. As far as opening up to anyone, I don't believe in it unless they have more compassion!

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Structure. You playing structure games? How dare you.


4:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and the bullshit of having someone else manage your addiction begins.

mary blackchurch

10:48 AM  
Blogger Lazy said...


you should be proud, tui, you have some of the best commenters ever on here!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Lazy said...

anyway, breathe deep now, i get violent rage attacks too, but it's not worth it to strangle her...

9:32 PM  

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