I feel weak. My personality, you don't notice it here- I'm tougher writing, much tougher than speaking- is like a soft play doh bloop, squished into different shapes by whoever I'm with. Cynical, thoughtful, eloquent, anxious, eager to please, difficult, responsible, mischievous, sensitive, shy, rebellious, awkward, seductive, tongue tied, outgoing and confident, smart, really fucking dumb. I hate the malleability. It makes me uncertain, who am I when I'm alone? I guess that's the real me. I love shy people, they make me miss confident, I draw them out, it's like an art, careful not to scare the walls back up, warm, silly. I loved my boyfriend because although he made me nervous, as all good potential lovers do, I could be a 5 year old nerd, and he got right into it. Sillyness makes me happy. And usually, girls are so much better at it, guys shy away, afraid cracks will form in the carefully suave veneer. So different boys and girls, in every way. I'm very glad to be a girl. But for an hour, or maybe two, it would be fun to be a boy, to have sex as one. I'd go and find my girlself and seduce real me. Rate my skills in bed. No that's wierd. God, I must be tired.