Monday, August 28, 2006

Flutter

Today was finished by 9.30 this morning. Trudding to work, boots scuffing sidewalk as the wet leather slouched lower. Grey streaks on grey sky. Machinary shrieked and screamed as roadworkers fixed the same piece of road they've been working on for a year and a half. And there was the end of my day, on the sidewalk, in my path. It looked like a furry thing at first, maybe a little mouse, soft and round. It was a tiny creature, with a full, smooth breast, a small bird, exquisitely beautiful, with delicate angular feet and soft speckled feathers, white flecks on black. I wanted to pick it up and hold it in my hand. It was so perfect, and whole. Not a scratch, or a ruffled feather. Lying on its back, a strange way for a bird to sleep.

Coming back from the methadone clinic, a month or so ago, I saw a different kind of bird, a sparrow, on the sidewalk in front of me. This one, was very much alive, struggling with something in its beak. This something resembled the biggest, juiciest slug a small bird could imagine. It was difficult for it to get a good grip, but the plain brown sparrow (cute, but plain), was determined. It made me sad. Its worm was bright, bright orange. They call them twisties, in NZ, and cheezies here. Those fat, cheeze puff chips that are just chemicals and dye. That's what it was taking home to its babies.

4 Comments:

Blogger ChapFu said...

shaky and disjointed and sad. everything.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you have a heart of GOLD, Tui. i love your writing... -eric

4:09 PM  
Blogger Lx said...

you're a Bukowski fan/reader. and so you know, then, that the Sparrow is Death.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous mary said...

Perhaps..but in the native world Sparrow (animal totem) represents:

Sparrow:

Sparrow aids in opening the eyes to our self-worth and instills dignity and empowerment. He teaches the importance of voice and communication and the timing of exertion and retreat. It is time to sing your song in all that you do. Sparrow teaches cooperation and sharing responsibilities whether at home or work. Are you helping or should you be helping or working more in some area of your life? Sparrow aids in survival instincts by sharpening intution to make proper choices. He will bring to awareness any old tendencies so that you can realize the newer more conducive means of being. Sparrow teaches assertion so that you may survive in spite of any circumstances with a balance of joy and empowerment. Are you ready to be like Sparrow?

Source:(scroll down page to sparrow)

http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm

Having said that..iot may be the death of oneway because you've seen the light into anoher way.

6:38 PM  

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