Knock knock

knock knock knock. My boyfriend woke me up. I got up on my elbows and looked at the clock, it was 12.30am. "Don't answer it," I said. "It's late." Knock knock knock, harder now, threatening. Then we heard a key being tried in the keyhole. Then another. And another. Angrily, someone was systematically trying every key on his key ring. And it was a damn big keyring.

That feeling, being naked in bed, with someone about to walk in on you, it's in your stomach and chest and throat. I was scared. "Go!" I whispered to my boyfriend, "deal with it." He put on a towel and opened the door. It was the landlord. He started screaming. He'd been waiting all day for my boyfriend's call. What did we think he was? A fucking fool? He was sick of being fucked around by my boyfriend. He was going to go down to my work on Monday and talk to my employers.

My heart shrank inside. My boyfriend had pretended to go and call the landlord several hours ago. I had given him a quarter and the number. He was reluctant, but I said it was important, just to let him know what was going on.

Now he wants to go to my fucking work. I have a professional, amazing job. Untouched by crap. My safe place. And now this man is planning to turn up, frothing at the mouth and demanding me to pay. I would if I had the money, in a second, just to wipe away this mess. But I really don't want to, I want my boyfriend to fix this problem. I also don't have money again for 10 days, when I get paid.

My boyfriend is supposed to meet the landlord today, by this time. And pay him the full amount and call me, so I can stop worrying. Stop listening for an angry man opening my office door.
I want freedom, from all of this. God how I want to be free.